If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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