I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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