What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
