Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
