I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
