Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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