Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
