Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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