I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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