At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He kissed a someone with a penis
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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