Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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