I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
