Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
