Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
