I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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