There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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