wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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