THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
