New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
