hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
