guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Randomize
