Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
