Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
