your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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