I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dignity is for republicans.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
