Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
