Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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