I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
