from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
