just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
