So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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