She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
