I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
