there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
