He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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