all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
