great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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