Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
