i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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