Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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