hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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