? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
