Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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