Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
