Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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