so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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