VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
