Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
