windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
