I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
